Sunday, May 24, 2009

Newcastle United Premiership or Championship?

It's do or die today for the Toon Army. Newcastle United Premiership or Championship next season?
Hip Hip HoorayAl's saved the dayHe desorves every pennyOf his million quid payNow he's var nigh boond to stayThe dug oot's better than Match of the DayDoom and GloomThe toon is doonAh think ah'll sup some Newcie BroonThen gan te bed till the next blue moon
For more, click the linkNewcastle United Premiership or Championship?This Newcastle United Premiership or Championship? blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Mother and Son Poem

This mother and son poem is a follow up to yesterday's poems about a student son using Father's Day to try to scrounge some money from his Dad. Today he tackles his mother“Mom, I sent a Fathers Day card to DadBut he didn’t help at allI’m a little.., I’m ski.. I’m broke…, MomSo I thought I’d give you a call”“OK, sweetie,” says Mom“The money is on its wayAnd I’ll send your economics bookWhich you left, on your last stay”“Uhh oh yeah Mom” says son“Thanks, you really are a friend”Dad comes home and asks his wife“OK how much did you send”"Two checks, one for 20, and the other for 1,000.""That's 1020 dollars!!!" yelled Dad"Don't worry hon," Mom said,“Its really not that badI taped the $20 check to the book coverBut put the $1,000 one in betweenThe pages on Prudent Money ManagementThat’s in Chapter 15!"Jon Bratton 2009This mother and son poem is copyright Jon Bratton. It may be used for non commercial purposes

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Father's Day Verses Funny

This Father's Day Verses Funny blog entry is brought to you in the lead up to Fathers Day next month.Based on a joke I read somewhere I have written this Fathers Day card poem from a student to his Dad containing sledge hammer subtlety
Dad, $chool i$ really great.I’m $tudying very hard.I want for little, well, sort of..Except, perhaps, a ¢ardI would love to receive something from you.About home and Mom and $uchI am making lot$ of friend$But I mi$$ you very muchThe only reason I made thi$ ¢ardIs becau$e I want to $ayYou mean $o very much to meHave a $uper Father’$ DayYour Loving, Hard up $logger $on.
Image from http://www.dubuque.k12.ia.us/parents/CartoonNO.jpg
The wise father repliedDear Son,Your sincere speech did NOt go unNOticedBut it came as NO surpriseAnd the subtletness of your messageDid NOt escape my teary eyesI do kNOw that the study of ecoNOmics,Is to you, interesting stuffThe pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task,And you can never kNOw eNOugh.I wrote to my DadWhen I was away at collegeMy Dad let me kNOw the meaning of NOAnd I pass on to you that kNOwledgeJon Bratton 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Fathers Day Poems Funny

Image from http://www.lindenservices.co.uk/userimages/stihl.jpg
Fathers Day is just a month awaySo here's a little dittyOn this Father’s Day, DadI hope you are wellPin back your lug holesI’ve a story to tellA lumberjack raised the moneyFor his son‘s education, he plannedBy cutting down treesLaboriously, by handThe son bought his father a chain saw“This will make life easier, Pater”Then he went off to collegeReturning 3 months laterThe father had indeed used the sawBut he was now on his kneesHe had worked much harderAnd had cut down less treesThe son was disappointedAt what he had heard and seenSo he checked the oil and gasOn the chain saw machineHe pulled on the cord The chain saw roared into actionThe son was surprised At his father’s reaction His father got a shockHe grabbed his son’s jacketBLOODY HELL SON, he saidWHAT ON EARTH IS THAT RACKET?For your Father’s Day presentI thought long and hardBut you’ll understand nowWhy I just got you this cardHappy Father’s DayJon Bratton 2009For more, click the linkFathers Day Poems Funny
This 'Fathers Day Poems Funny' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton but poem may be used for non commercial purposes

Monday, May 11, 2009

How long do you cook turkey breast

How long do you cook turkey breast is a question asked on the internet about 700,000 times per year so this is a perfect subject for a search engine tart like me to address, so here goes
Roast at 350 degrees for 20 minutes per poundShould produce meat that will pleaseBut for perfection, use a food thermometer And cook till the temperature reaches 170 degrees.Jon Bratton 2009The best thing to do is cook to temperature. Get a probe thermometer and cook until it reaches 165-175 degrees. It is really hard to tell someone how long to cook a piece of meat because every piece of meat is different and every oven is different and conditions vary. All of these factors contribute to cooking by time being unreliable. Everyone should have a probe thermometer not just for good cooking but for safe cookingIf you want to know more, click the linkHow Long Do You Cook Turkey Breast

Cook a Steak and How Long

Cook a steak and how long?Is a question asked by 500 people each day2 to 5 minutes each sideThat's it...there's not much more to say
Except this, if 2 minutes, rest it for 5
And if 5 minutes, rest it for 2Give it 20 minutes if you want it crematedAnd show it a match if you want it blue
Jon Bratton 2009
How Long Do You Cook a Medium Steak
This is my guide to steak cooking times. They can only be a guide as it depends on the thickness of the steak. I have based these on a steak that is approximately 2.5cm or 1 inch thick.
Rare: 1-2 minutes per side - rest for 6-8 minutesMedium rare: 2-2.5 minutes per side - rest for 5 minutesMedium: 4 minutes per side - rest for 4 minutesWell done: 5.5 minutes per side - rest for 1 minuteThicker steaks may require a longer cooking time, and shorter for thinner steaks.
To know more, clink the link

Friday, May 8, 2009

What Does The USA Flag Colors Represent?

What does the USA flag colors represent?What do the colors signify?The American flag is red, white and blueThe question oft asked is why
It's almost an obsessive questionWhat do the colors mean?Nothing, they're merely the colors
That on the British Union Jack, are seen
The red is from England's St George's CrossAnd Ireland's St Patrick's Cross tooAnd St Andrew's Cross of ScotlandGives us the blue
Meanings have been ascribed to the colorsIn the Great Seal, used for securityThe blue is justice, red is valorAnd the white means purity
But to the question, the flag colorsMean, signify, symbolize what?The answer is nothing, nada, zipZilch, diddly squat
Jon Bratton 2009
To learn more, click the link
This 'What Does The USA Flag Colors Represent' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

American Flag History for Kids

American Flag History for Kids, unlikely as it seems, is a popular search term and it just screamed out for a poem to be written. The job befell me, though I don't claim to be a vexillologist. But first here's the first stanza of the US National Anthem, The Star Spangled Banner (meaning star covered banner)
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early lightWhat so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet waveO'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?Here's another little ditty, from where I know notI love my flag, my country's flagThe red and white and blue.It has broad stripes and fifty stars,And stands for freedom, too.
Now here's me poemThe flag of the United StatesIs red, white and blueIt has 13 stripes and 50 starsBut this wasn't always trueFor its first year as a NationUSA had no flag at allThen it got one with 13 starsSet out in a circle, like a ball
The first official national flagAccording to the storyWas approved on June 14, 1777And nicknamed “Old Glory”The claim of Betsy Ross is that sheMade, with her own hands, the first flagIf that is true, and it seems to beShe was entitled to brag
In 1795, the number of stars and stripes
Was increased by twoVermont and Kentucky joined the unionAnd wanted to be given their dueWhen more joined, the stars increasedBut the stripes reduced backTo represent the 13 coloniesThat gave Britain the sackTwo overseas states, Hawaii and AlaskaWere added from afarsSo now the Stars and StripesHas a total of 50 starsJon Bratton 2009Here's another..the lyrics to a songSaid Washington to Betsy Ross, "A flag our nation needsTo lead our valiant soldiers on to high and noble deedsNow can you make one for us, to which she made reply,"I am not certain if I can; At least I'll gladly try."Chorus:So she took some red for the blood they shedSome white for purity,Some stars so bright from the sky overheadSome blue for loyalty,And sewed them all together,For loyal hearts and true,And hand in hand as one we standFor the red, the white and the blue.Said Betsy Ross to Washington, "Your country's flag behold!"And through his tear-dimmed eyes he saw the stars and stripes unfold.Then to his breast he clasped it, and looked to heaven above."Oh may it ever stand," he cried, "For rights and truth and love."Finally, here's a lovely pieceA Toast to the Flag" by John Jay Daly, c.1918
Here's to the red of it;There's not a thread of it —No nor a shred of it —In all the spread of it,From foot to head,But heroes bled for it,Faced steel and lead for it —Precious blood shed for it,Bathing it red.Here's to the white of it;Thrilled by the sight of it,Who knows the right of itBut has felt the might of itThrough day and night?Womanhood's care for itMade manhood dare for it;Purity's prayer for itKept it so whiteHere's to the blue of it,Heavenly view of it,Star spangled hue of it,Honesty's due of it,Constant and true;Here's to the whole of it —Stars, stripes and pole of it —Here's to the soul of it,Red white and blue.
If you want to know more, click the linkAmerican Flag History for KidsThis 'American Flag History for Kids' blog page is copyright Jon Bratton 2009. The poem may be used for non commercial purposes

Dinosaurs for Kids

Dinosaurs for kids is a fairly popular search term. Some of you will know that I am assisting Paul Perro with his lovely http://www.history-for-kids.com/website and I am quoting here a portion of his longer poem on the subject of 'Dinosaurs for Kids'There was a type of creature called a dinosaur.Which you do not see any more.They lived in a prehistoric time,I’ll tell you about them in this rhyme.Dinosaurs had tiny brainsBut they had ginormous names.Like triceratops, brontosaurus,Velociraptor and OhDon'tBoreUsThe tyrannosaurus rexWas scary, one suspects.It had lots of big sharp teeth,And a *ROAR* that just defied belief.How I wish that I could getA dinosaur to be my pet.I would take him into school one dayAnd everyone would run away.This will never happen, I realizeFor long ago they met their demise.Fossils are all that are left, it seems,You can sometimes see them in museums.This post is a test to see how well or how badly it fares in the Google search engine results page. Paul Perro's webpage is well search engine optimised and yet does not feature on the first ten pages, I suspect because it is a new website and its in Google's so called sandbox. A blog page usually does much better. I'll report backClick the link for moreDinosaurs for Kids and other history poems
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