Twelve Dames of Christmas

The Twelve Dames of Christmas Die Cut Decoupage produced by La Pashe are being offered at a very silly price here at Twelve Dames of Christmas Special Offer

Here's some poems wot I wrote which you may find suitable for cards you make with these fabulous sheets

A partridge in a pear tree.

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youA partridge in a pear treeBut you probably prefer turkey and stuffingIf you're anything like me

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Two turtle doves

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youTurtle doves, two, or if hungry, threeBut you probably prefer turkey and stuffingIf you're anything like me

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Three French hens

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youFrench hens, not two but threeBut you probably prefer turkey and stuffingIf you're anything like me

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Four calling birds

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I thought too of sending you some calling birds,And as they're small, I thought four, rather than threeBut you probably prefer turkey and stuffingIf you're anything like me

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Five golden rings

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youFive golden ringsBut I expect a lady of your refinementHas drawers full of those things

Suffice that I send Yuletide blessingsDo please enjoy the traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Six geese a-laying

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youSix geese a-laying, or oven ready, better yet,But I know that turkey and stuffingIs what you usually get

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Seven swans a-swimming

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youSeven swans a-swimming, in gravy or sauce,But I expect you prefer turkey and stuffingFor your Christmas lunch main course

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Eight maids a-milking

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youEight maids a-milking,But all those uninvited strangers for dinnerWouldn't suit you, I'm thinking

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Twelve Days of Christmas

Nine ladies dancing,

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

Sending you nine ladies dancing, I expectWouldn't be number one in your list of wishesBut howsabout nine ladies cooking Christmas dinner?And then washing up all the dishes?

But just lazing around all Christmas DayI expect wouldn't be your idea of heavenAnyway, have a really super YuletideAnd all the best in Twenty Eleven

Twelve Days of Christmas

Ten lords a-leaping,

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I toyed with the idea of sending youTen lords a-leaping,But all those uninvited strangers at ChristmasJust wouldn't be in keeping(Would put a dent in the housekeeping)

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

**

Eleven pipers piping,

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I was going to send you eleven pipers piping,But then I changed my mindSending uninvited strangers at ChristmasJust wouldn't be very kind

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

**

Twelve drummers drumming,

When I saw this image of sophisticationChic, poised, elegant and well to doIndeed, cultured, suave and stylishI immediately thought of you

I thought of sending you twelve drummers drumming,As a Christmas joke, but thenThere's enough noise from over excited kidsNot to mention half sozzled men

Enjoy all that the Yuletide offersEspecially its traditional fareAnd all the best to you and yoursThroughout the coming year

Wot Not To Put Down The Bog

I live in a street where the sewerage pipe blocks about twice a year and everyone on that sewerage run shares the cost of clearance each time. The drains were laid badly by the builder 30 years ago and no doubt over the years extra snagging points have developed. However the main cause of the problem is the putting down the toilet of inappropriate things. When the street was full of babies it would have been disposable nappies (diapers). The drain man on the recent clearance said what the main cause of the blockage was so I wrote this poem for all the residentsMen and Menopausal WomenDon't Carry The Can For Blocking The PanThe drains are clearSo that's good newsWhen the drain man leftHe expressed these views"It's not all the natural stuffThat clogs and clingsIt's the make-up wipesAnd those sanitary things"So, let's adopt The 3P'sIt's a new disciplineIf it's not pooh, pee or paperIt goes in the bin!What Not To Put Down The Bog is copyright Jon Bratton 2010

New men’s briefs made from bananas

GREAT GIFT for Father's Day!  CLICK HERE

Best Father's Day Gift Idea - Heineken Beer Cooler

Popular Father's Day Quotes

 Here are some of the most popular quotes compiled by the Showbiz Gossips team:

 is a wise father that knows his own child.” – by William Shakespeare

“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” — Unknown

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” by Unknown

“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” by Author Unknown

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – by Charles Wadworth

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” – by Bill Cosby

“My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.” by Lee Iaccoca

Great Father's Day Gift

Father's Day Ideas for the Car Buff

Father's Day Ideas for the Car Buff

Gift Ideas for Father's Day

To help you celebrate Father's Day, here are some of gift ideas. 

• 
  
  

  You can gift a nice photo frame with a family photograph or photograph of a special occasion.



• 
  
  

  A travel package to his favorite destination.



• 
  
  

  A book. You can also gift him a subscription of his favorite magazine.



• 
  
  

  You can gift your father a mobile phone, PC or a laptop.



• 
  
  

  Still camera/video camera is a very nice item to gift.



• 
  
  

  CD's



• 
  
  

  Sporting equipment



• 
  
  

  Sunglasses, wallet, belt, shirt, T-shirt etc.

Funny Father's Day Quotes

Funny Quotes

• To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway 


• The thing to remember about fathers is. they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon-seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat, like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle. - Phyllis McGinley


• If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. - James Baldwin


• My father hated radio and he could not wait for television to be invented so that he could hate that too. - Peter De Vries


• Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. - Robert Orben


• Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Happy Father's Day

Don't Forget Father's Day Sunday June 19, 2011

Don't Forget Father's Day Sunday June 19, 2011

VUVUZELA - A Great Father's Day Gift

VUVUZELA A Great Father's Day GiftPlease share your pictures and / or stories about Fanatical Fans.

Time is hard on all of Us!

These pictures should make most Fathers Feel Better!  Happy Father's Day!





Time is hard on all of Us!

You Never Had to Love Me - Poem for Father's Day

You Never Had to Love Me

Father's Day June 20, 2010

Don't Forget Father's Day!!!!

Father's Day Trivia and Interesting Facts

1. There are 1.5bn fathers worldwide. Each year, 122m children are born wordlwide.

2. Unlike in the UK and America when Father’s Day is on the third Sunday in June, in Australia Father's Day is celebrated on the first Sunday in September

3. The necktie is the most popular of all Father's Day gifts, while hammers and golf clubs are also popular presents

4. Father’s Day the fifth-largest card-sending occasion in America, with almost 100 million Father’s Day cards sent annually

5. In the UK 7 million Father's Day cards are sent each year, compared to13 million Mother's Day cards

6. Robin Williams and Billy Crystal starred in the 1997 comedy Father’s Day, who’s tagline was “One kid. Two dads. A who done it”

7. Famously Mark Twain said the following about his father: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

8. American rapper Father MC released an album titled Father’s Day in 1990. It included his top 20 single I’ll Do 4 U, which featured Mary J Blige on backing vocals.

9. In the USA Father’s Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent

10. In 2008 thousands of primary pupils in Scotland were prevented from making Father's Day cards at school for fear of embarrassing classmates who lived with single mothers.

Remembering Dad

Remembering Dad

Funeral Hymns for Anne, Mother, Nanna, Sister

These Funeral Hymns for Anne, Mother, Nanna, Sister have been suggested by Aunt Margaret

There are more suggested Funeral Hymns for Anne hereFuneral Hymns for Anne28 May 08

Best Father's Day Joke

Father's Day Joke

Cats In The Cradle I always think about this song especially on Father's Day

Cats In The Cradle I always think about this song especially on Father’s Day

Father's Day Stories - Daddy's Little Girl

Father’s Day Stories – Daddy’s Little Girl

Father's Then and Now

Fathers then & now

 Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of 2010; but they did have a few advantages:



In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.



Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

---

In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.



Today, it's the size of his minivan.

---

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.



Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

---

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.



Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

---

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.



Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

---

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.



Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

---

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.



Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

---

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.



If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

---

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."



Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice."

---

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.



Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."

---

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.



Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."

---

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.



Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted Sega!"

---

In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.



Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.

---

In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool.



Today, he'll get a digital organizer.

---

In 1900, fathers said, "A man's home is his castle."



Today, they say, "Welcome to the money pit."

---

In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed for the horses.



Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO.

---

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.



Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald's.

---

In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.



Today, a father's involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.

---

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.



Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."

---

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late.



Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had that earring?"

---

In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.



Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.

---

In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.





In 2010, fathers are never truly appreciated.

Cute Father's Day Jokes

One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, "Daddy, you're the boss, aren't you?" Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued "That's because Mummy put you in charge, right?"









What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?Spook when you're spooken to!





Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?In case they get a hole in one!





What do you call two people who embarrass you in front of your friends?Mum and Dad!





How many ears did Davy Crockett have?Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!





My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it's always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!





Do fathers always snore?No - only when they are asleep!







Knock knock

Who's there?Canoe

Canoe who?Canoe help me with my homework please Dad - I'm stuck!  

Father's Day Gift Idea - Funny Commercial

Happy Father's day - Funny video - Pampers

Top Gift Ideas for Dad from young Children

1) Make a stepping stone with their hand prints -- bag of quick cement and some pretty plastic, glass, rocks...etc to go inside is the cheapest route. They have kits at Michaels.

2) Get a plain hat or white t-shirt and have them decorate it – Hand prints work well.

3) If he has a workbench in the garage, let them paint it. (Given he would think that is a good idea.)

4) Personalize a money clip -- Engrave it so that it will be an heirloom for your kids. Have your kids help with the message so that it comes from their hearts.

5) Bake him a father's day cake -- and decorate it, but don’t eat it.

6) Bring him breakfast in bed -- be prepared to clean up crumbs.

7) Plant him a Tree: Plant a tree together and watch it grow. (it may be too hot depending on where you live)

8) Make him a Statue: Get boxes, and toilet paper rolls and other recyclables together and have them make daddy and paint it. You could use paper mache or glue.

9) Decorate a pillow case – there is no nicer feeling than going to bed on a pillow that says “I love you Dad.”

10) Make a photo collage for his desk or draw a picture of you and your Dad.

Gift Ideas for Father's Day

1) Electronics – Seems like anyone with the Y chromosome likes electronics. If it has a remote control it is sure to be a beloved gift.

2) Wine or Beer Club Membership – Whether it’s wine or beer these monthly membership clubs will have your Dad thinking about you all year. After a glass of wine and/or a beer, he’ll probably be thinking good thoughts.

3) Personalized Money Clip – Money Clips make great gifts because they can be easily engraved to add meaning. Often they become heirlooms.

4) Home Depot or Lowes Gift Card – Most Dads spend lots of time in these stores. Most Dads like the time they spend in these stores. Most Dads would appreciate the gift card and use it.

5) A tool – Look at your Dads tool chest. Many of the tools could probably stand to be replaced and that there may even be a few missing you could add to the collection.

6) Tickets – Buy tickets to an event that you and he could go to together. Nothing that a Dad likes better than realizing that his child wants to spend time with him.

7) A round of Golf – If you get a round of golf, try to take the time off so that you can join him on the course.

8) A best seller – When is the last time your Dad read a book? Dad’s are busy and don’t have time to look for books to read. Buy him a book that he’ll enjoy.

9) Lend a hand – Ask your Dad if you can help him with that project he’s been working on or putting off. It’s always more fun to do something together especially with those you love.

10) Go fishing – Lull the day away and spend time just being together.

Happy Father's Day Hug

Axe 2010 Football Commercial sofaurus (axe play commercial)

Axe 2010 Football Commercial sofaurus (axe play commercial)

Father's day Animations - Free to Copy