Funny Text Messages 100208

1. My wife, a flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the oversize luggage."When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I don't have this problem."My wife smiled, "When you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either."2. A blond guy with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment."What happened" asked the doctor."Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ballgame on TV," began the man."She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answered the iron."The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?""Well, no sooner had I hung up," said the man, "when the same guy called again."3. Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and saidsolemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?”“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.”“I don't mean that,” the priest responded. “I mean, are you preparedspiritually?”“Oh, sure,” came the reply. “I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”

Couple Jokes 090208

1. One day, Jude and Rose were having a petty argument.After shouting back and forth, Rose finally says, "Let's make a deal. To end this argument, you admit that I am right and I will admit that I am wrong."Jude thought for a moment, agreed, and asked her to go first.Rose replied, "I'm sorry Jude, I am wrong."In response, Jude shouts happily, "You're right!"2. A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting Married?"Old buddy: Yep!Senior: Do I know her?"Old buddy: Nope!Senior: This woman, is she good looking?Old buddy: Not really.Senior: Is she a good cook?Old buddy: Naw, she can't cook too well.Senior: Does she have lots of money?Old buddy: Nope! Poor as a church mouse.Senior: Well then, is she good in bed?Old buddy: I don't know.Senior: Why in the world do you want to marry her then?Old buddy: Because she can still drive at night!3. Fred and Tina were thrilled when their long wait to adopt a baby finally came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had an adorable German baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation.On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped at the local college so they could enroll in night classes. After they completed filling out the form, the registrar inquired, "What possessed you to study German?""We've just adopted a wonderful German baby boy and in a year or so, he'll begin to talk. We want to make sure we're able to understand him!" the couple proudly explained.