Funny Jokes 080908

1. R des ur eys, i fund dem betwen my brest. - Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!2. B frndly w/ ur kds, dey chus ur home wen u r old. - Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!3. Xssesive u's of alcohol cn led 2 a pregnancy. - Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

New dumb blonde jokes 072908

There're 3 blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. In an instant, she's turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island.The second woman asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, in an instant she's turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.The last blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

Jokes of the Day 072208

In a hospital room, there was a man resting on the bed with an oxygen mask on.When the nurse came in the room to open the blinds, the man asked her, "Are my testicles black?"To which she replied, "I do not know... I am only here to open the blinds." The man asked her again, "Are my testicles black?" And he kept asking until he got on her nerves so much, that she finally unzipped his hospital gown, looked down there, checked under them, and said,"They are fine." With a confused look on his face, he took of his mask, and shouted, "I SAID, ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?"Authors: Olive & Maria Do you know why nurses make the worst lovers?Because they’re taught to wait until the swelling goes down.Authors: John FranklinTwo student nurses were arguing about who would be forced to give an old wrinkly man a sponge bath,. "you do it..."The one student said. "No..u do it"...The patient watched them through the glass window and thought: "I hope those two guys are not fighting over my wrinkled balls".Authors: Sefra

Joke of the Day 071808

Two men are sharing a hospital room.

"What are you in for?" The first man says.

"I'm getting a circumcision," his roommate replies.

"Demn!" exclaims the first man, "I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"

Short joke of the Day

b1: There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy, but then happy got out so they started feeling grumpy instead!b2: A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".He never heard the shot..

Joke Of The Day 07/07/08

a444: There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'a445: Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.a446: Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Joke Of The Day 07/03/08

Air Force One comes in for a landing at the airport. A ramp is wheeled up and President Clinton appears carrying a pig under each arm.As he comes down the ramp, the Marine at the bottom snaps to a salute.Clinton says, "You'll have to excuse me. I can't return your salute. My hands are full.""Yes Sir. I see the pigs Sir!" responds the Marine."Now hold on," says Clinton. "These aren't just pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks.""Yes Sir! Razorbacks Sir!" says the Marine."I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary," Clinton explains.The Marine answers, "Yes Sir! An excellent trade if I may say so myself Sir!"

Joke Of The Day 06/25/08

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror;

Woman: "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
Husband: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".

He never heard the shot.

Love Poems a234-a236

a234: It's too the point; being without you totally destroys me
But being with you breaks me into little tiny pieces,
I just have to figure out which one hurts more.
- BrokenInside.

a235: It's sad to see you holding her hand. However sad it might be It's truly funny for me. Every glance you give me when walking with her. Every night you'd drether be talking to me instead of her. And every day I see a little bit of my love die for you.
- Final Breath.

a236: I'm a nervous wreck now that you're gone.
Truthfully, the only time I was safe was in your arms.
- Miriam.

Joke Of The Day 04/02/08

What did the bee say to the flower?
“Hey bud, when do you open?

From: Ajokeaday.com # 10230 (receive via email)
Author: USA.

Joke Of The Day 02/01/08

Q: Why did the pig cross the road
A: To prove that he wasn't a chicken

From: Ajokeaday.com # 6304 (receive via email)
Author: Jake las vegas nevada USA.

Joke Of The Day 01/31/08

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you we would be walking through a never-ending garden!

From: Ajokeaday.com # 13840 (receive via email)
Author: Josh, USA.

Joke Of The Day 01/22/08

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?

From: Ajokeaday.com # 2711 (receive via email)
Author: Abigail American Samoa