Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Goodbye Sad Poems, But Funny

Goodbye Sad Poems is a popular search, particularly for co-workers who are departing for pastures new, or retiring. I have written many such poems where the goodbye maybe sad but the poem is funny. These were written about very specific people but here I've taken all the generic material and welded it together to produce a poem to apply to anyone...with a sense of humour. If to a teetotaller, take out the verses about drink. It is intended to be read out loud by two people, the black type is good cop and the purple is bad cop


Today)(tonight), we have a change of style
It's a different kind of do
I've cut my eloquent, articulate, smooth and polished speech
That'll save an hour or two
We have for you a little dittyA farewell and good luck quipTo say goodbye to our dear friendAs he departs this sinking ship
Yes a Co-worker is leavingIt's now sincerity timeTo pay him a special tributeBy insulting him in rhyme
Co-workers leaving is always sadA time for sorrow and grievingBut today we can be happyCoz it's Charlie Smith that's leaving
I've heard about your dittiesI'm not sure I'm very keenI just take poetic licenseYou take liberties, you mean
If you're going to insult my friendI don't want any partOh (Mary)(Bill), don't make a fussI'll behave, cross my heart
OK, but no derogatory remarks
Did I not promise just nowNo innuendoes or calling him namesGet on, yer silly cow
Alright, it's goodbye to a hard worker
It is a terrible pity
To lose such a staunch member of...
The Skivers and Shirkers Committee
We're saying goodbye to a learned colleagueWho knows that one over the eight is nineWe're bidding adieu to a man of spiritWho's very fond of wine
We all like to socialiseWith a drop of wine or beerBut to us, it's just a pastimeTo Charlie, it's his career
Work is a mere distractionAs a respite, it's fineBetween yesterday's binge on beerAnd today's excess of wine
Charlie's a very hard workerDo you really think that's true?If you tell Mr (Brown) Charlie's leavingHe'll say "Sorry, Charlie Who?
No I'm not having itWe can't treat a friend this wayOK, Clever ClogsYou think of something nice to say
You can always rely on CharlieWhen you're in a desperate needWhen things are bad but could get worseThey will, that's guaranteed
I remember when poor Charlie (lost that big order)(fell down the stairs) (whatever)I felt sorry for him, more than a bitIt's something Charlie would like to forgetYes, that's why I mentioned it
You couldn't have been more insulting
What have you got to say?
I'm very sorry...I'm very sorry
You made me throw all the best bits away
Charlie, take no notice of himAt least I'm on your sideThis one here, couldn't have been more insultingBut believe me, Charlie, I tried
I'd like now to propose a toast
To bring this to an end
To Charlie, no longer a co-worker
But still a very dear friend

Jon Bratton 2009but based on his earlier material


If you want more Goodbye Sad Poems...but funny, click the link
This 'Goodbye Sad Poems, but funny' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009. The poem may be used for non commercial purposes

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