Goodbye Sad Poems, But Funny

Goodbye Sad Poems is a popular search, particularly for co-workers who are departing for pastures new, or retiring. I have written many such poems where the goodbye maybe sad but the poem is funny. These were written about very specific people but here I've taken all the generic material and welded it together to produce a poem to apply to anyone...with a sense of humour. If to a teetotaller, take out the verses about drink. It is intended to be read out loud by two people, the black type is good cop and the purple is bad cop

Today)(tonight), we have a change of style

It's a different kind of do

I've cut my eloquent, articulate, smooth and polished speech

That'll save an hour or two

We have for you a little dittyA farewell and good luck quipTo say goodbye to our dear friendAs he departs this sinking ship

Yes a Co-worker is leavingIt's now sincerity timeTo pay him a special tributeBy insulting him in rhyme

Co-workers leaving is always sadA time for sorrow and grievingBut today we can be happyCoz it's Charlie Smith that's leaving

I've heard about your dittiesI'm not sure I'm very keenI just take poetic licenseYou take liberties, you mean

If you're going to insult my friendI don't want any partOh (Mary)(Bill), don't make a fussI'll behave, cross my heart

OK, but no derogatory remarks

Did I not promise just nowNo innuendoes or calling him namesGet on, yer silly cow

Alright, it's goodbye to a hard worker

It is a terrible pity

To lose such a staunch member of...

The Skivers and Shirkers Committee

We're saying goodbye to a learned colleagueWho knows that one over the eight is nineWe're bidding adieu to a man of spiritWho's very fond of wine

We all like to socialiseWith a drop of wine or beerBut to us, it's just a pastimeTo Charlie, it's his career

Work is a mere distractionAs a respite, it's fineBetween yesterday's binge on beerAnd today's excess of wine

Charlie's a very hard workerDo you really think that's true?If you tell Mr (Brown) Charlie's leavingHe'll say "Sorry, Charlie Who?

No I'm not having itWe can't treat a friend this wayOK, Clever ClogsYou think of something nice to say

You can always rely on CharlieWhen you're in a desperate needWhen things are bad but could get worseThey will, that's guaranteed

I remember when poor Charlie (lost that big order)(fell down the stairs) (whatever)I felt sorry for him, more than a bitIt's something Charlie would like to forgetYes, that's why I mentioned it

You couldn't have been more insulting

What have you got to say?

I'm very sorry...I'm very sorry

You made me throw all the best bits away

Charlie, take no notice of himAt least I'm on your sideThis one here, couldn't have been more insultingBut believe me, Charlie, I tried

I'd like now to propose a toast

To bring this to an end

To Charlie, no longer a co-worker

But still a very dear friend

Jon Bratton 2009but based on his earlier material

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Goodbye Sad poems, but funny

This 'Goodbye Sad Poems, but funny' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009. The poem may be used for non commercial purposes