Funny Valentine Poems

Funny Valentine Poems

I came across a Valentine joke which I have woven into a poem as the first entry in my Funny Valentine Poems collectionI’m good at buying presents(Remember last year’s little toy)(Last year’s present brought you joy)Well here’s a poem about what can go wrongIf you’re a right Charlie boy

Charlie decided to buy his new girlfriend,A special gift for ValentineHe discounted flowers, chocolatesFurs, jewellery, liquor or wine

Gloves, he thought, would be perfect(He’s a very romantic sort)He took his sister with him to make sureThe best girlie gloves were bought

With his sister’s advice Charlie purchasedA really lovely pair,And Charlie's sister decided to purchaseA pair of panties for herself, while there.

Each purchase was wrapped and then mixed upAs oft happens, under Murphy’s Law

(sometimes Sod's law or Finagle's law.)Charlie mailed the parcel to his girlfriendWith a note “To the girl I adore”

The note went on “I chose this particular giftAnd I hope that you approveCoz I noticed that you often don't wear anyThese ones are short and easy to remove.The lady at the store where I bought themShowed me the pair she’s been wearingI had her try on yours for meThey looked nice, if a little bit daring.

When you take them off, rememberTo blow on them before putting them awayAs they will naturally be a little dampFrom wearing them all day.

I hope you'll wear them Friday nightWhether it’s frosty or whether it poursAnd you can, of course, remove themAs soon as we’re back indoors"

What a right Charlie he isI’ve got you a present, with tasteI hope this edible, gusseted, tasselled thongIsn’t too tight around the waist

More Funny Valentine Poems here

©This 'Funny Valentine Poems' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009.This material is free to use for personal use but may not be lifted in whole or part by website publishers